Very Angry

This morning I have awoken to see one of my best friends on the front page of the local newspaper. I'm not going to discuss what has happened but I know what has been printed is WRONG WRONG WRONG. The person in question would Never Ever do such a thing. The way this newspaper has gone about getting this story to press by a certain so called journalist seems somewhat underhand especially as my friend has been unable to get his point of view across. As a friend I feel I have failed him as until yesterday I didn't have a clue that for the past nine months he was living a living hell until he broke down in front of me. As his friend I feel I have failed him, his family and most of all myself and at this moment of time I feel very low and feel I am about to lose my friend for a very long time if not forever? I truly hope I am proven wrong and when my friend does get his life back I feel due to a newspaper the damage caused already has torn to many lives apart including my own as I've been doing my best to hold onto my job so much so when a friend needed me most I wasn't there for him which sits very uneasy with me which is a feeling I've yet to be in and at my time of my life has me slightly scared with how to deal with it? I am so very angry and sad and all I can say to anyone reading this, even if your own life isn't great look around at those you love and care about the most as they might need your shoulder to cry on but are to scared to ask.

Guardian Angel

I have a Guardian Angel and her name is Carol.

Back in 1994 I was in a very bad place, another broken relationship, no job and a severe chip on my shoulder with anyone showing me any concern. Many a night I could be found throwing endless amounts of money into fruit machines on the local motorway service area trying to avoid sleep until the sun came up when I could hide away from the World.

One night while sitting at a table in the cafe a Waitress named Carol sat down next to me and over the next few months we got to know each other and I poured my heart out to her night after night as she listened and gave me advice and opinions.

One night Carol wasn't there and I was told she no longer worked there and I carried on trying to self destruct. Forward to September 1995 I was in the gutter and had a local newspaper thrown at me with jobs circled so I made some telephone calls and I got an interview in a health clinic as a waiter.

Sat in a waiting room my name was called and I entered the room and who was sat at the desk interviewing me? Carol.

Over the next 7 years we worked, laughed and cried ourvway over many things, we both fell in love with others but at the end of the day we would always find ourselves drawn together and we would put the world to rights.

Sadly the Health Clinic closed and everyone went there separate ways promising to stay in touch but over time friends became stingers.

Christmas 2003 an old school friend turned up out of the blue and we went out for a meal to catch up and remember times past. As I was looking through the menu my eyes look across the restaurant and who should be the Manageress of the restaurant? Carol.

I waited for Carol after her shift and we spent the whole night and most of the next day talking and promised we would stay in contact. I got married in 2004 but after a very short space of time the marriage fell apart and yet again I was in a desperate place but Carol was there for me and over time put me back together again and thanks to her I met Cheryl my current love and soon to be wife.

With the Internet and various social networking sites Carol and I have passed time together and met up on a couple of occasions and telephoned each other when we can.

A short while ago I had a wobble and felt like I was losing control as the demons inside me were starting to eek out almost destroying everything god I have in my life but Carol in a few short hours put me right yet again.

Carol hasn't had it easy in the last year or so and I am stepping up to the Mark to give back all the good she has done for me.